Since the encounter with the homeless guy, whom I have affectionately named "Chopper", I finished the Expo. I had to sell the Shammies all four days and did not make any comission (so just my less-than-minimum-wage base pay). It wasn't my favorite thing in the world but it really wasn't too bad. Anyways, my boss believed in me enough to ask me to work the next show in Palmerston North. So that's where I am now. The Field Days Expo starts tomorrow and ends saturday. This time I'll be selling the nail polish pens for sure - I told him I wanted to come work this weekend but I never wanted to sell the Ultimate Shammy ever ever again. This also solves the problem of what will I do with myself this week and where will I stay. I have an income (with potential to get more, though I'm doubtful), a purpose, and he's paying for my accomodation. So I'm content with that.
The Balloons Over Waikato Festival starts in a week. I've heard from the pilot I'll be crewing with and he's from America. I'll be working on "Shroom With a View" which is a giant flying mushroom!
The season appears to have changed as well; it's now fall. All the students have gone back to university and I'm so envious! I want to go home. I don't know if I really mean that, but... I want to go home. I'm not enjoying this right now - living out of a bag, looking at my bank statement and seeing it in the low hundreds... missing my friends and family, not having a routine, not having a plan. I know that was my whole schdik - to live a year without a plan. But four months in, I want a plan. I want to have a direction. I think the trick is finding the balance between knowing where you want to be going and staying flexible to unexpected opportunities. That has been one of my major lessons learned since leaving Franz Josef. It was when I really gave the no-plan plan a shot that I got to understand why people feel so coompelled to plan in the first place. That, and to finish school so I don't have to work shitty bullshit deadend jobs for the rest of my life feeling disillusioned and bored. I'm so tired of being here that I don't really feel that excited about the hot air balloon festival anymore. I just want to get it over with. I don't really like feeling that way... If I were to do this all again, I would do it differently. Not meaning that I regret it, just that I think I could have gained so much more from this experience had I gone about some things differently - or if I had even just prepared better. But, I obviously had (have) some lessons to learn in doing the things I've done, the way that I've done them.
answer: "because bananas can't walk"
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From a fellow traveller, I know how you feel. But I admire you for your approach. I spent an entire year planning my year-long escape and it got me nowhere. I found I enjoyed myself and experienced more when I was open to what was going on around me. You are so brave and inspirational: not many people would transplant themselves in a foreign country and manage to survive. You should be very proud of yourself and what you have accomplished.
ReplyDeleteI think the whole experience of travel, as fun and shitty as it can be at times, is only meant to help a person discover what there true passion and desires are. It is only when you are alone with no influences and routine and expectations that you can truly listen to your heart and mind. So, listen up!
And feel free to tell me what you have come up with! Maybe you will discover something that will help all of us fellow travellers. Oh, and by the way, routine and structure are over-rated!
Love, Lisa