going north

very quick lil' update:

I'm no longer getting out in Golden Bay as my friend, Warrick, travels to Wellington for school. Now I'm going all the way to Welly and possibly even a bit beyond to his parent's farm in Hawks Bay for the weekend of feb 6. Then I return to Welly and head to Paraparaumu by train to my first wwoof home at the Lotus Yoga Centre. I'll stay there for a week doing various odd jobs then make my way to Waikanae to my second wwoof home at Nirvananaturally which is a naturist retreat that I'll reside at for a week as well. I have nothing planned yet after that until the begining of march where I'll spend a couple weeks in an old west town at Mellonsfolly Ranch (unofficial wwoof home #3), until I head to Hamilton for the Balloons Over Waikaito festival where I hope to be a volunteer crew memeber for a hotair balloon or two.

... well, so much for not planning. But hey, there's still pleanty of adventure possibilities within this skeletal plan - and nothing is really for sure at this point. Now I just need to pack my bags (more difficult than it sounds), make it through the last 2 days of work (worse than it sounds!), and say some teary-eyed good-byes over the weekend. It actually feels a little surreal - I thought I'd never leave Franz...

"Are you a possum or a cat?"

uuuuugggghh. This is the slowest internet! I wonder if they do that on purpose because they charge you money for it; you have to use it longer, thus paying more, to get your stuff done...

Ssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm leaving Franz Josef. Finally. (I'm so annoyed by this computer that I can't focus...). Yep, leaving. Here's the low down:

- I tried to renegotiate my massage contract at the Hot Pools
- they weren't interested
- I quit.

My last day will be this coming friday, then on sunday (jan 31st) I will go north with a friend heading to Wellington (he's going back to school) on the southernmost part of the north island, and I will likely get out in Golden Bay on the northwest corner of the south island. Road trip! Yay!

You may be wondering what I'll do when I get there. That would be a good question that I don't really know the answer to. I'm thinking I want to do some WWOOFing, which is working for food and accomodation on organic farms. That would be AWWESOOME! I am a little nervous about it. I found some places I'd be interested in going to - one is even a yoga retreat! But I'm scared that people will be like they were here in FJ. My employers were some of the most insincere people I have ever worked for. I've been very lucky with jobs at home - I had some fantastic and genuinely caring employers! My standards are high. But in return I usually* have a high work ethic (*conditions apply).

I'm distracted by a german girl behind me talking on skype...

errr. I don't know what happens next. I suppose that was my intention, but I don't really know what to say or do here. Nothing, I suppose, just simply notice and go with it...

Oh I almost forgot - the title of todays post: last night I was walking home from the bar, as I do most nights. And when I was passing a fish n' chips shop with picnic tables in front I saw a cat sitting on one of the table benches. The angle of the table put it's body in shadow save for it's pointy ears and pink nose. I started reaching towards it with my eager grin that I reserve only for kitties, then stopped with my hand about a foot away from it's head and thought out loud "wait... are you a cat or a possum?" (smile is gone). The thing jumps out of shadow and shows that yes, it is a possum. I nearly pet a possum. I could have lost my arm, but they sure are cute! :D

light at the end of Cron Street (well the opposite when I'm walking home from the bar... like tonight)

It's wednesday. My most favorite and least favorite Franz Josef day of the week. "Least" because it's the middle and I can't bear another two days of work; "most" because it's kareoke night at the Blue Ice.

And my throught hurts from sing-yelling at the top of my lungs :D

On my way home I stopped to blog because I'm a fucking geek. Whatever. There has been much a brewing. Or not. It just seems like it because I let small things engulf my entire line of sight.

Did I mention I just came from the bar?

Any whooooooo... So I'm done with Franz Josef. I don't care if my employer promises me the moon and stars - it's time to MOVE ON! My heart tells me so, and what my heart wants it gets (more or less). So what now?

Well, I would really like to go out and try some really cool shit.
Such as, but not limited to, milking cows, sheering sheep, nursing lambs, honeying bees, gardening gardens, snapping fingers, tapping toes (not to be confused with bumping boots), throwing myself out of planes and off of a bridge, learning the flying trapeez, being a volunteer crew member at the hotair balloon festival, seeing penguins, rafting, avoiding spittle from alpacas, surfing, smiling at people, waving at passing cars, climbing rocks, swimming in beautiful lakes, catching fishes and making someone else kill them because I'm a coward, eating tastey fishes, various other activities that make my heart sing...

Oh! And shaving my head. Yep, I really want to shave my head on february 19, 2010 (my 26th birthday BTW). I've wanted to try it just once since highschool. So for my birthday I will (probably) do it. (oops, I just picked my nose on video surveilence... heh heh). I have some very good, and dare I say thought provoking reasons that I will describe in the next blog as I am out of time, money, energy, and the ability to focus my thoughts. So let's leave it at this - it's important to me and maybe one day it'll mean something to you.

goooooooooooooooood night!

SKYDIVING

I finally did it! I went skydiving at the Fox Glacier which is about a 45 minute drive from Franz Josef. It's a town about the same size, same weather, but with diffierent glacier. We've had a couple days of gorgious weather and they managed to sqeeze me in since I was cancelled on so many times (really it was only 2). They had a driver pick me up in Franz with two other guys to take us to Fox. As soon as we got there we signed a waiver then got geared up. They went through a very fast run down of what we need to do when we're in the plane and sky and then we got strapped to our tandem master, did a practice "jump" (just how to hang out of the plane properly), got into the plane, and took off. They only do 2 jumps at a time so it was me and a guy from Ireland who went first. I was crammed in closest to the door so I was also the first to jump - though, I didn't actually have to jump, I just had to hang out of the plane and fall with my guy.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH IT WAS SO COOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!

We were told that as we fall we had to be bananas and arch our backs. We did some summer saults while we were free falling! It was so strage to watch the world spinning around you. It goes so fast you don't have time to even make sense of it. I couldn't have gotten sick if I wanted to because I couldn't register it. I was told the free-fall is 45 sec long. The longest 45 seconds of my life so far. I guess with something like that you're forced to really live in the moment and that's why it seems to take forever. It was really hard to breathe too! I could feel my nostrils flared wide from the wind and if I smiled it created like a wind tunnel effect and I'd choke a bit! Ha ha ha ha! I got a dvd of the whole thing and in it I have a tight lipped smile the whole way down, I look so funny! Adding to that, I also drooled at some point so I have spit on my face for the entire thing until I get to the ground and notice (so embarrassing)! HA HA HA HA haha!

The best part though was when he pulled the parachute. When I tried to imagine myself skydiving I only ever thought about the fall not the parachute part. It was so incredibly serene. There was maybe a bit of a breeze. I could see EVERYTHING - the Tasman Sea, the mountains, Fox glacier, farm land, rainforest, rivers... it was incredible! It was so calm and gentle I could have been sitting on a park bench. The straps hurt me a bit though, I have bruises in my arm pits to show for it. But that's minor.

I've been trying to get the DVD onto the computer so I could upload it to a site for everyone to see but this computer (and the one beside me) sucks. I have some of my own pictures which you can see on my flickr site. I can't even get the professional pictures onto the computer so those will just have to wait for now.

In other news:

Franz Josef is still just as small and suffocating as I've ever found it, if not more. I have run into that guy since new years. That was awkward but it's ok. We can coexist in the bar and I've even chatted briefly with him as is nothing ever happened. Work has really been bothering me lately. I've decided to try and re-negotiate my contract so I send an email to my boss detailing the things I'm having issues with and possible solutions. I also said in the email that if they aren't willing to work with me on it or we can't come to an agreement then they can consider the email my official resignation. It's quite possible that in two weeks I may be moving on....... wouldn't that be lovely?

If this is a sign of things to come - bring it on, 2010!

oh New Years. My least favorite holiday. Why? Because it is completely overrated. So much pressure is put on this one night! The best New Years celebrations I've had were either spent watching Buffy on DVD and/or I was in bed by 10:30. Over the last few years I've made less and less an effort to actually do something special on this holiday.

But I wondered, could Franz Josef be the place to have the best New Years Eve ever?...

I worked the day, and spent my thinking time trying to decide what I would do. I had some options. When I got home I ran into some neighbors and made my decision after chatting with them and sharing in their enthusiasm. I quickly went home to get ready and tried to ignore the forboding thought in the back of my mind that kept telling me the night wouldn't be what I excpected. I walked to the local's bar of choice, the Blue Ice, with 25minutes until countdown. Anxious, excited, and increasingly irritable. I would feel better once I got there.

Once I arrived, said hello to those I knew, got a drink in my hand, and settled in for some dancing I took a moment to look around. I wanted to take it all in; live and enjoy the present moment. But something still felt wrong. I couldn't place it. It was just the atmosphere, the energy in the room. I can only describe it as feeling like there's took much static and you're just waiting to get a shock. The countdown came and went. I went outside to get some air and notice a friend from work looking rather sullen and grim. He was drunk (very) and having some problems with his girlfriend. I thought it would be a good opportunity to stop thinking about feeling strange and focus on "helping" a friend. After sitting and chatting for a while I felt better and ready to go back inside. As I was walking up the steps to the second level where the bar is I happened to turn and look down the street where I could see a group of people approaching. In that group was the guy that I briefly mention in my previous updat, who I have been involved with.

And he was kissing someone else.

With my drink in hand, I composed myself, walked down the steps, walked down the street at a controlled yet intentional pace, approached this person and threw my drink in his face.

YES. I did. I did it without any hesitation or second thoughts.

I turned and walked back to the bar just as purposefully as I had come. I felt vindicated. Liberated. Horrible. Did that really just happen? Fuck. Now what do I do? Do I stay here and have an awefull night trying to casually share the same bar as that scowndrel? Would I be happier surrendering to New Years Eve and just going home?

I grabbed my jacket, said goodbye to friends (I was clearly upset but insisted on walking alone). There was no way I was going to recover from this tonight. I will just go home and go to bed. But not until I walk by him one more time, giving him the full weight of my scorned glare (and it's a douzy. If you have never seen me angry - really angry - you may or may not want to). My intention was to walk directly towards him without even hiding my emotions, give the impression that I'd tear into him then at the last moment, without slowing down, continue on my way without saying a word.

But he wanted a word. So under the light of the petrol station we argued. I had a sinking feeling I was wrong. He was angry and I was now just confused. As we argued we were watched by passing friends and tourists on their way to the bar, each wishing us a "happy new year" as they passed. Finally he gave up and walked away and I just stood there feeling stunned.

This was a perfect moment.

I couldn't think. I was... empty. But not the devestated kind of empty. It was the emprty where all you have is you and deep down you know that's enough. I didn't know what to do or what I even wanted to do. So I just stood there looking at the moon (which was full and beautiful btw). A tourist named Bill who saw the entire argument was also stunned and standing there. I turned to him and said "well now what?". He then insisted I explain the whole thing to him so he could give me a guys perspective. It was actually really sweet. Then came the moment of truth - what was I going to do? I did not want to go back in there and face him. I didn't want to go home either. And that's when I knew what my resolution was; if doing something scares me and I just want to chicken out, I resolve to face it. So I went back in. I didn't talk to him, I just focussed on having a good time. Eventually he left (probably didn't want to be in the same room as me) and I relaxed. I drank enough to hold of the sad feelings that were sure to come once I was sure it was over between us. But I can honsetly say I ended up having one of the best nights ever. Not just a New Years Eve night. But just a great night.

Because I chose to.