....

I have soooo much to say and even less time than usual. It costs $3 NZD to use the internet for 30 minutes at the library here and I can only use it for 30 minutes at a time, but there's nowhere else to go.

I am currently in Paraparaumu, a smallish town just an hour north of Wellington. I'm working for room and board at a yoga centre, mostly just puling weeds out of their gravel drive way. I'll stay here until saturday (I'm leaving a day early because I don't like it here) then blah blah blah - read the blog below...

Anywho, I'm sick again. Sore throut. I haven't gone to a doctor yet because I"m waiting to see if it gets worse. I think it's getting better because it's been sore since monday, but today I started coughing. Tomorrow I'll decide for sure

omg this is such a boring blog. Next I should tell you what I ate today...

I'm grumpy. I shouldn't even publish this because I hate grumpy or sad blogs. But I'm also trying to be honest. I'm not that happy right now (and becoming increasingly irritable... what happened to QUIET libraries?!). I want to go "home". That doesn't necessarily mean Canada, it just means that I don't look forward to living on other people's floors, couches, or guest beds for the next undetermined amount of weeks. I know this is just the first host home for me and it'll get better, I also won't be sick forever either.... bllaaagggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I miss my old life where I felt like I had more freedom and control over what I did on a daily basis. I kinda wish I had bought a car when I got here because then I'd have a space that was really mine. I remember how much solice I found in my car when I was living with my parents and feeling like a bum (no offence to you, mom and dad, you're wonderful parents but I need to feel like I have a space that's really mine). I guess I still can buy a car but something in me doesn't want to...

I just purposefully make things hard for me and tell myself that it builds character. When am I finally going to admit that sometimes it just makes me bitchy and sad?